So What?

So, since I got a new LJ and all and I havent updated in a while, here are the basics.

Name: Samantha
Age: 21
Location: Salem, Oregon (Moving to Denver, Colorado around the end of September, 2009)
Job: Jack in the Quack (*cough* I mean Box)

Things that will be in this journal: Posts about my life, rants about my life, stories/poems/things that I write that I want to show off, exciting news, pictures(whether they be my artistic photography or pictures of things I'm doing in life), and well, anything in general. This journal is me and I'll leave it at that

If you wanna know anything else, lemme know or refer to my profile, it should be updated and done by the end of April *crosses fingers* I really like getting to know people, I don't care what continent you are from

THIS IS MY FRIEND POST. COMMENT HERE TO BE ADDED.

For now this is a public journal, it may not stay that way if people are jerks. So I am putting this here to stay.

Soo, there are good things and bad things happening with me right now. I decided to come back to LJ because I've always been able to be more honest on LJ, and it is very freeing. That, and I've always loved the communities that help me reach back down into my inner creative side and hone in on my skills. I have found some pretty amazing people on LJ (Cate, you are by far the best ^^)

So, on to my life. Good things:

-I got back into the housing program I was in before and am able to save money to move to Colorado
This is something that I had hoped for because the money I pay in rent to be in the program, I get back when I move out and it will help me with my moving costs and I will have a cusion to try and get my own place in colorado.

-Keeping in better contact with my family
I have always been bad about calling people, and I am trying to just call my sisters and parents and say hi. See how they are doing, and all that fun stuff. I always talk to Amber because she is my twin and my other half, we fight sometimes, but we love each other. I also have always gotten along with Tanya, but like sisters, we still fight from time to time, but we get over it. Athena, I'm trying to forgive from a childhood of agruments and having bad views of her. I think I've pretty much forgiven her, it is just seeing how our relationship grows. I <3 my mommy. I always have (except for the dark days when I resented  her for taking my older sisters and not me with her when she left my dad, but I was too young to understand then, and now that I udnerstand, I <3 her =]) so I talk to my mom all the time. My dad is a different story, we talk, but not a lot and I'm trying to build that bridge again, but for a bridge that was so battered for so long, it is hard. It is getting easier with me not living with him, but it still is taking work. Wish me luck !

-I HAVE a job in this bad economy
Though I hate my job, it is nice to know that I do have a job, especially since I found out that my city has either one of the highest or the highest unemplyment rate in the entire U.S. so atleast I have a job.

-moving to colorado in September =]
I have known for a long time that I have needed to get out of Salem. I know that I will miss it here, but Colorado will be a good move for me and I will gain a lot from the move in relation to my career goals and such.  That and I will get to know my mom more because I've never lived with her before and this is my first chance to see her regularly. I'm stoked.

Bad Things:

-I HATE my job
So I work as a team leader at Jack in the Box and while I love the food there, I am seriously hating my job. I have had more than 10 jobs in my life and this is the first job I have EVER hated. That is saying something. I'm usually retty open to change and I can take a lot of crap before I get angry or hate something, so for me to say that I hate something, it is pretty bad. (this will be kinda long while I rant about this) To save confusion, the food chain at jack in the box goes a little something like this:
Restaurant Manager (RM)
Assistant Manager (AM)
Team Leaders (TL)
Crew Member
The things going on right now are that my boss Nickie doesnt realize that she plays favorites. This girl Kiri is a crew member and she just turned 18 which means she can be promoted. Everyone except one of my fellow team leaders thinks she should be promoted. Amanda, the only team leader that doesn't think she should be promoted, has a vendetta against Kiri. She is trying to get her fired, but everyone wants Amanda to get fired. We all hate her because she get vendettas, she plays favorites, she doesn't do her job right, she is lazy, she calls in a lot or if someone gets off earlier, she will try and have them cover the rest of her shift and have them switch getting off times. She talks a lot of crap about people behind their back things that arent true. All around, she is a bitch. BUT, she is the assistant manager in training, so my boss puts a lot of weight onto what she says. Everyone hates it. My Manager is looking at firing the wrong people and she doesn't listen. She only notices when you do something wrong (like I cleaned the kitchen really well and did things that never get done, and she didn't even say a word.) If your boss doesn't praise you in some way, why do more than you are asked to do if it doesn't mean anything? so I will stop ranting about work right now, but do know that by the end of next week there will be a few lengthy rant posts about a few situations at work.

-I'm not happy living in Salem
I never really have been. I love my friends here, but education and job-wise, there isn't much for me to expand on here. I need to go somewhere else and broaden my horizons. I can do it, and I am.

-Depression
I have really low self-esteem. I am working on it, but it is taking a lot of work. I think people hate me when they don't, I am always paranoid that my friends really don't like me, and I do know that a lot of people get annoyed with my paranoia, but I have learned to deal with it. One day I can be confident in who I am without worrying about what others think of me. It seems like such an easy thing to do whan you say it, but for me, I grew up with people hating me and making fun of me, so it is hard to believe that people like me.I'll get over it, it is just a matter of when. I also have a fear of failure. I am afraid of doing things that I don't fully know how to do because I'm afraid I'll screw up and lead to someone getting mad at me which goes back to my self-esteem issues. again, working on it and making progress, =]

so I dunno if I did this right, Correct me cat, please =] I just thought it was a list of things I want to do, but I could be wrong. lol.

( 100/1001 )

So, I have added some friends I knew before, but for everyone to know, someone found the password to my old account and was doing some nasty things on it, so I decided to create an all new one. It was time for cleansing anyway. This is the new journal for me, Samantha.

I love to meet all kinds of people, so add me, I like all people. I talk about life, love, music, photography, and other art in here. I also like to write, so my writings might end up here too. I hope to keep this all real, just like me for me. You don't have to like me, just don't tear me down and we'll be cool.

hope you enjoy.